Whats the glycemic index on semen?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
