i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Randomize