i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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