i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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