Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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