She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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