i jhust puked up my retainher.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
The ass gains better be worth it
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize