were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
