Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
