Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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