A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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