I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
