What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
