Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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