you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
