I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
