i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
