Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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