I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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