my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
