Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
