Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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