this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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