they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
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So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
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Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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