i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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