So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
