I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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