How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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