do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I use my feet as sexual weapons
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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