my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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