We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
