THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
