I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
