Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
