gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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