walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
