Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
