i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Randomize
