Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
