I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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