Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
