there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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