it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
