Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize