well I can't set my house on fire every night
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
