why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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