I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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