So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
