so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Randomize