Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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