I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
