He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
we should paint friendship bongs
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