wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
