R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
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