garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
