I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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