C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
