I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
